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The Predicament of the
Hurting Pastor
by Tom Warner
In addition to being a
normal human being, with the usual struggles of life in a fallen
world, the pastor may be the target of spiritual attacks which
seek to destroy his peace, his moral integrity, his walk with God,
his marriage, family, and church.
In the midst of such
attacks, it's very difficult for him to open up to members of his
congregation. He knows that practicing transparency may cause some
people to lose respect for him, especially if they've been
conditioned to think of pastors as being on a pedestal, above the
day-to-day problems of "average Christians." Such people, and some
pastors, have the idea that a spiritual leader should look like a
suave corporate CEO whose always pleasant persona makes people
feel comfortable. This false concept of what a minister is
supposed to be like tempts the hurting pastor to keep his
struggles hidden. People need to be educated about this. Paul
dealt with this when the Corinthians were misled by some he called
"super apostles" who were not at all impressed with his down to
earth, struggling style (2 Cor.10:10; 11:1-6,12-15). He may also
fear that some people will think he's crazy if he describes the
intensity of the spiritual attack he has experienced. They
"believe" in demons, in theory, but don't really translate that
belief into reality.
When he finds himself
at gatherings with other pastors, who might help to bear his
burdens by sympathetic listening and prayer, there is often little
time for "baring" his burdens to them. The program often takes up
most of the available time, and focuses on issues such as church
growth, discipling, etc. There is very little acknowledgment in
such settings of the struggles of pastoral couples.
The pastor is tempted
to wear a mask of professional competence that denies his humanity
and problems. All the while, God's agenda for shaping his servants
is to help them realize they are not competent, apart from
supernatural help (2 Cor.3:5-6)! God is teaching his servants that
his power is made perfect in their weakness (2 Cor.12:7-10). Human
brokeness needs to be exposed and find its adequacy in his grace
and power. Where a sense of one's weakness and mortality are very
evident, there is a greater appreciation of his resurrection power
for the present and the future (2 Cor.1:8-9; 4:11-18).
The hurting pastor
needs to see someone who models transparency and doesn't hide the
brokenness and heartaches of those who serve the Lord, who can
also point to the all-sufficient grace and power of God to meet
the needs of his servants.
The hurting pastor
needs to be able to talk about his struggles with others who
listen and care and pray. The restorative grace of the Good
Shepherd is often mediated through those who have suffered
greatly. He comforts us so that we can comfort others with the
same comfort we've received. It is easier for the hurting pastor
to unburden himself, and find renewed hope, if he speaks to one
who has travelled the same path, and witnesses to God's grace out
of his own weakness.
The book "I'm OK,
You're OK" offers some insights into the best kind of approach to
counseling a very discouraged person. It won't be received very
easily if it comes from a professional who "speaks down" to the
hurting soul. That may produce embarrassment and a deeper sense of
failure. Counsel will be better received if it comes from a fellow
struggler, a wounded healer, who comes alongside the hurting
pastor and witnesses of God's amazing grace. |
